Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Great News for Stephen Harper

And I mean that sarcastically.

Turns out that he has even more competition to be George Bush's best friend. George Bush has pretty much said that The Prime Minister of Japan is his second best friend, what with his recording an album of his favourite Elvis songs and everything. So, now Stephen has to battle it out with Vincente Fox for third best friend, when everyone knows he was really trying for BFF.

I just know at the next G8, Stephen is going to be expecting George to save a seat for him at his table, and George is going to be all "oh, sorry Steven, but Tony got here first." You know, trying to make it out like it was Stephen. So then Steph's going to have to be all "oh, that's okay, I was just coming over to say hi, but I am supposed to be sitting with Norway." And then Tony kinda stiffles a laugh, because he can be a real jerk about stuff like that, and Tony chimes in with "Oh when did Norway go G8?" Typical Brit, all sarcastic and everything.

The Stephen pretends he has a super important IM to answer and uses it as an excuse to leave.

If that doesn't make you cry, I don't know what will.

Saturday, July 01, 2006

The Blowout

In our twenties, my friends and I were kinda hip, and so, for some reason, presumably as some sort of by-product of Canadian hipness, we could necer use the actual name for anything and so instead, someone, usually me, (because I was one of the worst offenders) had to come up with some sort of name that was usually meant to be used in a funny way (like saying "groovy" in 1985 for example, which I personally think I resurected from the dead, but I digress.

No, right now I am talking about the word BLOWOUT, which means "party" , big warehouse party but, given the times and our ages was pretty much crappy bachelor suite apartment party.

Doesn't the name imply loud music, lots of alcohol and some smashing of things? In reality, blowouts were usually held by one guy, in his apartment, with the stereo solidly set at three, an assortment of "appetizers" like mini quiches (it was the 80s)and hummus (in the 80s, see I told you we were hip), with Dan scurrying around with a garbage bag tied around his waist for easy trash disposal. Invariably, someone would get into a fight about strippers, and the passive aggressive guy would "accidentally" knock over a the dining table. The irony of the name vs. the experience was not lost on me.

Yeah, but like I said, we called it a blowout.