Monday, November 29, 2010


are there so many assholes in the world? Seriously. If you doubt I am right, then come to my son's school's drive through sometime. You'll see. You'll see all too clearly, my friend.

Also, why isn't there more candy in my life? Did I ban it or something? No! Somebody get right on that.

Thirdly, what's with these assholes who start sentences with words like "thirdly". What are you, a former junior college English paper writer?

And most importantly, I hate the fucking suburbs. It occured to me a while ago that in the 10 years we've lived here I haven't met one (openly) gay person. In the city, it was a gay a day, at least. Now, nothing. Total dry spell. No wonder it sucks so much here.

Man, I am in a bad mood. And I am so old now that shopping does not snap me out of it. If anything shopping seems stupid to me now. How the goddam hell is giving goddam Nicole Richie $70 for a crappy t-shirt supposed to make me feel better.

Monday, November 22, 2010


When I was a girl, I had a dream for myself at 16. I wanted to change my name to Linda, buy a silver Mustang convertible, and get myself two silver poodles to ride in the backseat.

In reality, at 16 I had a mangy cat and a bus pass.

Still, that bus pass was some freedom, huh! In 15-27 minutes I am going to be outta here!