Friday, May 25, 2007

Well Now I'm Pissed

Rosie has left The View. Thanks alot Elizabeth Hasselbeck! May your googily eyes continue to google, but somewhere else because I can't stand looking at you. If they don't replace Rosie O'Donnell with either Kathy Griffin or Roseanne Barr, then screw that goddam show and the horse it rode in on.

Also in addition to making Kelly Ripa go away is there some way someone could make Sam Champion get off my tv screen as well? I have never been a big fan of his, but the last straw for me was when he was on location in some bad weather area--I think they were expecting a hurricane, and Sam Champion, NEWS REPORTER was reporting weather NEWS, from the beach in his BARE FEET. (To make matters worse he had rolled up his pants. Remember those fuckwads, from the 80s, who'd roll up their baggy jeans and wear their loafers without socks. That's what he looked like to me). Anyway, when someone asked him about being barefoot he went off on a tirade about how much he loves the beach. Like the news story is about him and his beach love. Not the potential impending hurricane.

Please, make him and Kelly go somewhere together, happily. I don't wish them any ill will--I just never want to see or think about either of them again. No offense Sam and Kelly, you just suck.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Kelly Ripa Has A Big Head. No, Really. She Does. Maria Shriver Big. Seriously. You've Seen It. Don't Pretend You Haven't Noticed.

I happened to catch a couple of minutes of Regis and Kelly this morning. It was one of those "phenomenal" road shows, this time from New Orleans. And Kelly was helping to build a playground for the children of New Orleans thus demonstrating her intense chutzpa and pluckiness by heaving a shovel load of bark mulch. (Have you ever felt bark mulch? It's like the world's lightest substance--it's practically freaky in its lightweightedness. ) and I was just wondering if there some way that someone can make Kelly Ripa get off tv.

She also talked a while about having eaten some oysters and how she then went for two long runs. I wonder if she has heard of exercise bulimia, because it's a thing. A very real thing.

Monday, May 21, 2007

More on hyper sensitivity, you freaks*

A while ago I wrote something about being hyper sensitive and honestly, from the comments and emails I got, I think I hit a nerve. Well of course I did we're sensitive. I just wrote a little thing about how there's hope for hyper sensitives because things get better with age, and I realized that there are a lot of hyper sensitives, like me, who need some hope. So I am going share everything I know with all of you young 'uns.

Here are the things that I know from my own experience about being way too sensitive.

Some things that help:

First and foremost know that being sensitive is a very positive thing. Even if you, like me, have spent a good part of your life thinking it was a curse, change your mind. Believe that, and if you don't, try hard to operate as though you did. It's a gift that few of us receive, and I have come to think of it as a kind of talent. Like perfect pitch. You might not have an occasion to use it all that often, but when you do nothing, NOTHING beats it.

And also, lighten up on yourself for God's sake! You're super sensitive and you take things way harder than other people do. Please be sweet to yourself. You're sensitive and easily hurt. Don't call yourself fat or ugly or stupid or thoughtless or foolish. Just don't do that any more. When you do that it's like your slapping your 8 month old self right in the face. Please, if you only do one thing, do this one.

Find kindred spirits. I don't really know too many in person but I do in books. I love Marianne Williamson so much. Her book A Return to Love changed and saved my life. Read it. I recently discovered Anne Lamott . She was an answer to a prayer. Read her fabulous books, they also help.

Email me or leave a comment if you feel like it.

* See that's a joke, don't get all "Man I am such a LOSER" on me.