1. I'd write my name in the snow. But I wouldn't stop there. I'd also write my name on the side of my old high school, and maybe, if I could track him down on a certain former boyfriend's car. And my local Starbucks. Then probably on some sort of prison document because with all that public urination that is where I would be going. Bummer!
2. I'd grow a moustache because a) I could and b) because no one is wearing them these days and I like to be different.
3. At children's soocer games I'd announce my presence with a loud "Hellllllo Ladies!"
4. I'd shop at Mr. Big 'N' Tall because even if I weren't, it seems manly.
5. I'd adress my male friends as "bitches" because it's what all the kids are doing, and if you do that as a woman, it is always followed by a very uncomfortable silence.
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7 comments:
Wow! All good suggestions! How about going around with your shirt off even if you do have a big belly!
Hmmm...if I were a man, I'd ask someone to make me a sandwich!
We need more men like you....
Don't forget -- If you were a man you could "adjust" your self in public and noone would care.
Wouldn't you glue the remote control to the lazy boy? Ride the mower just cuz you could? Unbuckle your pants after every meal? lol. Happy Mother's Day!!!
If I were a man, I'd stand in front of the fridge with the door open and the German mustard right in front of my face and ask, "Where's the German mustard?"
or, what about going to a football game in 20 degree weather ... shirtless w/ a big "D" on your chest ... but make sure you have your bitch friends E-F-E-N-S-E, too.
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