Before I begin, I'll ask you to make sure you are seated comfortably because this match is simply going to blow your mind.
This is too good to fuck around with a lot of ellipses, so let's just get right to it...
I match John Mayer with Norah Jones.
IS YOUR MIND BLOWN RIGHT NOW!?
ARE YOU ALL, OMIGOD WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT!?*
I know, it's fucking awesome.
My Entertainment news and gossip meter was all aglow today because apparently John Mayer and Jessica Simpson broke up. God Bless their hearts.
John Mayer make your goddam move already!
*You know why, because the great ones always make it look so simple, but in truth I have been ciphering in my laboratory for days.