Dear American Voter

Let's just take a second to think back about four years ago, to the last presidential election, a time when Al Gore was narrowly defeated. You had the chance back then to elect, as your president, the inventor of the internet, but you turned it down.

Who knows what the world would be like today if the election had gone a little differently. What else, as President, would Al Gore have invented?

I think there is a good chance that if you had elected Al Gore, you'd be going to work in flying cars today, and more than likely your tedious household chores (you know the ones I am talkin' about, ladies!) would be dutifully carried out by your new robot maid. Inclement weather getting you down? Not likely with the gigantic weather dome Al Gore invented to put over top of cities so it's always a comfy 72 degrees. The magic diet pill; the super sonic jets that only take 10 minutes to fly across the country; the new improved extra tasty tomato. I could go on and on.