This is actually a serious post today, about parenting. As a mom, I am annoyed at other parents. I find so many of them simply abandon their responsibilities because their kids give them some grief. But, really, that's when you have to step it up, when you're actually getting the grief.

When your kid mouths off, storms off, disobeys and you respond by rolling your eyes, or throwing your hands up, or complaining about how awful she is, you're literally training your child to mouth off to you. The message you're sending is this: "If you want to me to back off/stop talking/not discipline you" just mouth off because I'll throw my hands up in the air and stop parenting. Parent your kids, especially when it's hard.

I also think you should:

Get off fucking Facebook. You're not 17, no matter how much you want to be.

Stop pretending to "get" Lady Gaga. I could puke from the number of times I hear parents say stupid fucking parent things like "Well she's controversial, sure, but she's really talented!". Is she? Would you actually know what "really talented" is? Or are you getting confused by the meat dress? She wrote some catchy songs that seem very derivative of Madonna. She can sing. Feh, whatever. But please don't act like your goddam Phil Spector spotting talent, because frankly, I doubt you know.

Newsflash, 50 is not really the new 30. It's still 50. You also suck at math. Jesus! And btw, 30 is still ancient to your kids anyway.

No matter how cool you think you are, you aren't cool. It's a law of nature. You can't fight it with your Gaga love or new math or any other shit. So please, put all of that aside and just step up, embrace your nerdy self and parent your kids like they need to be parented.

Your kids (and the world) will thank you. Probably in some very indirect way like by asking you to buy more pizza pops or bitching about their texting plan.