Death to the cat people!

Okay, maybe not death, but disease at least!

people ask me, hey, Mrs. C, why do you hate cats so much anyway? I hate cats because...

man, this is hard to talk about...

because...

when I was a small child, a cat, a vile, evil, hideous cat, killed my entire family.

Actually no. The truth is, it is not cats that I despise, but rather the people who love them. the stinky, cat hair covered, lint roller needing, litter box changing cat owners. And they are all, wooo hoo, I have to change the litter box.

I was just thinking....wouldn't it be something if a cat really did kill my entire family, well maybe not ENTIRE family, that seems pretty far fetched, maybe just like one of my parents or a sibling or something, anyway, say a cat did kill someone in my family but then I come here and make jokes about it as a way of coping or maybe as a way of trying to learn to forgive the cat. that would really be something I think. And people would be all, "what's with her and the cat-hating jokes?!" like they are big cat lovers themselves and are maybe a bit miffed (like only cat people can be) then my friend tells them, "well a cat DID KILL HER BROTHER" and then shoots the complainer one of those "now who has the right to be miffed" looks