John Travolta:
Tends towards the chubby side, sure, but that tells me he is always going to be up for ordering a pizza late at night. Extremely convenient for air travel. Not going to embarass you with the "dance moves" at your cousin's wedding (not mentioning any names but looking casually, but decidedly at my present husband). Overall rating: B
Brad Pitt:
Duh! He's Brad Pitt. On the negative, his fondness for architecture and design could lead to too many annoying home renovations. Extremely unlikely to order a pizza late at night. Overall: B+
Tom Cruise:
Also a looker and a humanitarian! Could be tiresome with the Scientology tips. May get lots of phone calls from Rosie O'Donnell. Excellent driver. Overall: A-
Michael Moore:
Would probably know his way around a kitchen and likely has a good repertoire of easy-to-make snacks. Constant bitching about politics could bring a sister down. Overall: C
Sigfried:
Loves cats. Very fancy dresser. Matrimony may come with built-in job as magician's assistant. Could be on the rebound from long term relationship. With no known last name, may have to refer to oneself as "Mrs. Sigfried". Overall C-
George Cloony:
Purported laugh-a-minute prankster. Animal lover. Boyish grin. Accustomed to bachelor lifestyle so could have lots of parties with the Ocean's Eleven gang, leaving den frequently covered in potato chip crumbs, and he is probably not much of a vacuumer. Overall B-
Interactive Section!
I got an email from a very nice lady who wondered why I had not mentioned Prince Harry, or as she put it P. Hizzo, which cracked me up. So without further ado,
Prince Harry:
On the plus: Lots of youthful vitality, opportunities to attend many charity balls, marriage would come with title other than "Miss Thang" (or less polite variants). On the negative: seems to find the evil Third Reich "kooky". Extremely poor judgment. Overall: F
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7 comments:
Interesting choice of famous people...
I might lower the rating of Brad, cause all the other chicks are gonna hang off him, and make you constantly worry.
And I would raise Travolta's, cause he's just neato.
Ladies, I am surprised that Travolta is leading! (But then again it really just shows you what I know).
Thanks for the comments
Funny. Got to be Clooney, specially now the pig's dead.
You forgot Bruce Willis....sure, he's not a glamour boy, and he has that whole bald thing going on, but on the plus side, he probably doesn't primp in the mirror even half the amount of time of those other guys, which is important when you need your man to go to the store to buy tampons, pronto.
Keris,
I did not know the pig died! That does up his grade for sure. Now his only real downside is the practical joking, which I do not find funny. Don't make it a "practical" joke, go the extra mile and make it like a real, actual funny one I say. Thank you for the comment!
Kim,
Bruce Willis, hey? (Donning a pensive expression) Yes, yes, you are right! Everything you said, plus let's just say he has danced with hubris and then hubris really fucked him over. Thank you for the comment!
I thought John Travolta was also a Scientologist? That should send him waaaaay down the list.
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