Monday, April 11, 2005

How To Tell If You Are Really Crazy

As I roam the vast halls of the internet, I come across many sites where people identify themselves as "crazy". I believe this to be a misnomer, and suggest that instead of being "crazy" what those people are is either a) "zany" b) "kooky" or c) "whacky".

But, in case you are still wondering, here is my definitive checklist for craziness.

Does the communication in your romantic relationships fall solely into the category of "telepathic"? (Not unlike my love affair with Johnny Depp who sends me life telepathic affirming messages like "You rock" "You are an excellent driver" "Your ass looks totally excellent in those pants").

Do you think that, and I am not committing you to anything here, but, do you think that there's a really good chance that you are the next messiah?

Do you have more than 21 cats?

How about zany hats? Do you wear a lot of those? (Bonus point if your hat serves a dual purpose like being super fetching and also filters out any kind of harmful rays or if the hat is made from an aluminum pie plate).

In enclosed areas, do people stand as far away from you as possible? (But that could also be B.O.)

Do you mumble angrily to yourself and then stare intensely at people nearby? (Deduct one point if you are the computer dude at your place of work)

5 comments:

FunkyMama said...

hmmm ... sounds like people in my town. uh-oh. and, no, not me ... i only have 3 cats and 2 zany hats.

Ms Mac said...

My I add zany to my list of words I hate?

And people who describe themselves as such to my list of people I hate?

Trish said...

I think I only meet the first point on the checklist... I have a one-sided telepathic relationship with Lars Frederiksen. I'm sure he's been trying to communicate back, but the line's been busy...

Anonymous said...

no help at all in my case

Anonymous said...

If you have asked yourself if you are crazy you are not. Crazy people think everything they do is a justifiable action. The only thing they think is crazy is the idea that they may be crazy. That's just crazy.