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Stop taunting me!

Actually, it's okay.

People, have I told you how lucky I am to be the kind of person who needs you?

Is there anything in the world sadder than the trying-to-be-hip housewife? And she's all "That's not how I roll" . We just got you to stop saying "In da house", please do not start up with this "How you roll" business now.

I ask you, sincerely, is there anything sadder than that? Maybe the fake giant boobs. And the tan on the age deteriorated skin.

Be old, that is cool! Be your age. Be your life experience!

Don't try to be young. Don't you remember what a total asshole you were when you were young? I do. I was insufferable.

Be yourself, just the way you are. You're awesome as is.